Caffeine and vaseline bought for my sweetheart
True love if you know what I mean
Down at the mini-mart
I'll laugh when she falls down, stop when she turns around

She wants her rabbits foot so she'll be guarded
I said "don't talk that way.....you sound retarded"
God knows that I will try
Ten bucks says she will cry, ten bucks says she will cry
Ten bucks says she will cry, ten bucks says she will cry

She thinks I'm being mean and I don't blame her
It ain't easy being green and we both know that
So what if it's obscene?
Caffeine and vaseline, caffeine and vaseline
Caffeine and vaseline, caffeine and vaseline
Caffeine and vaseline, caffeine and vaseline

My baby's big and dumb
She'll kick the shit out of everyone but me
I'm hers and she is mine
I ask her how she is and she says "fine"
It ain't easy being green...caffeine and vaseline!

Caffeine and vaseline, caffeine and vaseline
Caffeine and vaseline, caffeine and vaseline
Caffeine and vaseline
Vaseline